Sunday, March 27, 2011

Someone else took over writing this blogpost halfway through

We're in the aftermath, now. It involves participating in fundraising events, donating money, paying more attention to the swaying of the light fixtures in the minor quakes that seem to happen daily.

Yesterday, I was wandering around my local supermarket, and decided that now was as good a time as any to stock up on earthquake supplies. I looked for bottled water. And looked. And looked. Not only could I not find any, but there were no empty shelves. Eventually I realised that the shelves where the bottled water used to stand had been removed. Entirely. Clearly, the supermarket had no means of replacing the product, and was mindful of the panic that evidence of the panic of OTHERS might inspire. So they opted for subterfuge. Water? What water? We never sold water. You can get it out of a tap! Stupid, foreign, girl.

I stood blankly for a minute or so, and then bought four litres of green tea. What can water do that green tea can't, anyway?

Life goes on as usual. My Twitter feed has calmed down, and I haven't had a concerned email from my parents in over a week so, for now, natural disasters have ceased their disruption of my life. Which doesn't mean that my thoughts don't remain with those down south. It just means that they occasionally visit other subjects.

Like this:

A fizzy drink that you can spread on toast! Zomg, finally. Total niche market just about passed us all by.

Or this:

It's Vegas... and a metropolis. All housed in the most dismal car park, under the greyest sky. I like the single bowling pin on the roof. It either says, "Welcome to Vegaropolis, we score 9 out of 10!" or "Welcome to Vegaropolis! Come spend some money because at the moment we're really fucking broke".

Or this:

Because who HASN'T been eating pancakes, and thought "Fukkit, forks and plates and whatnot are a WASTE of SPACE and are TAKING AWAY from my PANCAKE EXPERIENCE. My life! If only I could DRINK my pancakes out of a CAN, then I could EAT and WALK and ALL WOULD BE RIGHT WITH THE WORLD".

Face it guys, a good idea is a good idea.

"FURTHERMORE! When I am buying TINY TINY SAUSAGES, I like to be ASSURED that said SAUSAGES are of the highest quality! I am not looking for "good" sausages or "decent" sausages! And how shall I know if they don't write it on the..."

"Oh, I see, alright then, well played, Japan. But wait! I don't only buy sausages! What if I'm buying..."

"Alright, no need to rub it in".

"Just one more thing, though. You've got heaps of vending machines, right? Right. But, these vending machines only ever contain drinks! Sometimes I need more! A girl has needs! Occasionally, I just require something MORE SUSTAINING while I'm on the go!"

Touche. Touche indeed.

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